Monday, December 30, 2013
There always seems to be an after holiday blues. I watch families getting together with friends and because I don't have a spouse that seems to not happen with my family. It is time like this that I feel like I lost so much more then just Mark. I watch my siblings doing things with their spouses and I don't get too. I watch families get together and I feel like since Mark is gone my other family just doesnt do as much anymore. I miss being a part of so many things. While I love being with my family and friends it is hard to feel a part of things when half of you is gone. I'm happy with where my life is. Someday are just still hard. I just hope that whoever reads this will please remember how important family is! How important it is to love and even more important to forgive! It is not worth looking a relationship over. I hope my family will always know how much I love them!
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
This past weekend was Mark and I's twelth anniversary. Which means I would have been with him for 16 yrs! I wish I was really with him for 16 yrs! I wished I could say it was the best 16 yrs of my life. These were the thoughts that went through my head. But then i couldn't help but think I was able to date the funnest guy around for 4 yrs! How lucky am I? Then I got eight years with just him! How lucky am I? He helped make it possible for me to have three of the best kids around. How lucky am I? Pretty dang lucky! Heavenly Father knows and loves me. He knew exactly what I needed to help me become the best me. I may not be perfect, and I may not have a lot. But I am happy most of the time and that has been a long time coming. I have talked myself out of happy. How can I be happy if Mark isn't here? How can I be happy without him? I know that Mark wants me to be happy. I know that he wants me to do those things that are important to him. I have taken so many of those things away from my family because I didn't want to do them without him. But this week it has hit me hard that he is here, he doesn't leave us! We are his #1! I need to help him do those things that I know he wants me too! Here's to a stronger family and a happier day!