Being a working Mom

Over the past 4 months I have started working full time. I really enjoy my job and have loved getting back into the hospitality industry. I think it is just my nitch. However, I am starting to get a little jealous of Mark. When we first got the kids I was home in plenty of time to see them come home from school and we spent a lot of time together. I was their favorite :). But now I am feeling like it is starting to change. Since Mark has had his surgery he has not been able to work so he is home with the kids and gets to spend all of the time with them. He is the one helping them with their homework, feeding them and spending the time with them. I am feeling a little left out. Yesterday I had to work all day and I mean all day I was there for 12 hours. I came home to them playing in the yard and having a lot of fun and it made me sad. Is that crazy that it made me sad? I should be happy right? They are playing with their Dad what more could I ask for? Well, I didn't like not being able to be a part of that. It was really hard for me. I want to be able to spend the fun times with them. By the time I get home I have to fix dinner, finish cleaning the house and get them ready for bed. This isn't fair!!!!!

Niyah and Miyuki's 1st Competition

Videos of the kids

This is more for our family in Saipan. I wanted to post some video's of what the kids have been doing. Some of them are older but still cute. You can see with the different video's how much the girls have improved.

Niyah is on the right and Miyuki is on the left they are on oppisite sides. Sorry you can't see Miyuki very well. I was so proud of them. This was their first performance.

My Life!!!

Okay this post may not be very positive but I want to turn this blog into more of a journal for myself. You are all more then welcome to read but please don't judge me. I have had a very overwhelming year with both good and bad and it doesn't seem to be changing any. With that said I do want to say this. I know that when we are suffering we may be nearer to God then ever before, I do know this to be true and have felt Gods hands in many things.
Mark has been very sick for most of our marriage and this has been really hard especially the last few years and even more so in the last few months. I love him more then anyone will ever know. We have had our share and more of rough times together. However I am very grateful for the time we have had together. These last months we have been closer to each other then ever. We have had to endure a lot together, trying to learn how to raise three beautiful children and how to lean on each other when there is no one else there. That is truly how I feel right now, that we only have each other and our Savior.
I have learned in the last few weeks that even those you respect the most can let you down. I may not be the most spiritual person but I do feel that I can feel what is wrong and what is right. (and by the way don't you think I would know my spouse better then anyone else?) Sorry just had to throw that in.
I have been very grateful for all of the help that we have received over time. This has been a long struggle and I know it is not over. I will have good days and bad and so will Mark. I have to just hope that we don't both have a bad day on the same day. :) I am trying so hard to be strong for both the kids and Mark but it is hard someday. I have to say though I have the best kids to be around they are always so kind and caring when I am having a bad day. I don't know how I ever did it without them here. I love them so much! They have brought many smiles to both Mark and myself. While Mark was in the hospital he didn't ever want visitors but he did want to see those kids.
Well I know that my Savior is here and is helping us along the way. I know that some bad things have to happen to maybe push us in the right direction. Good things always come out in the end. I have seen that today.