See wasn't he just meant to be a Dad! I love you Mark! Okay so I thought I would share some of my thoughts. For those of you that read what I write know that I am not a very good writer. I just wanted to get some of my feelings out there and I am not a very good journal writer so I thought I would do it here. This new adventure in our life has been very interesting. It was funny how it all started. I was talking to some of the girls that were in Colorado with me this summer and we were telling each other a little bit about one another. They had asked if I had kids and of course I had to go through the spill of how we didn't have any and all of that stuff. I told them how it would really be bad if I was to get a call while I was in Colorado saying that someone had a child for me. Well the next day I got the call that there was a family in Saipan that had 3 kids for me. It is really weird how life works. While I was in Colorado it was all just a blurr. I didn't know really what to think and wondered if it was really happening. I was not home to prepare anything so it didn't quit seem real. Was I really going to get three kids? and how was I going to be able to do it? I still ask myself these same questions. Do I really have 3 kids and can I really do this? Everyday is a new day and I just have to remember that. Some days are really hard, okay I can't lie everyday is really hard. I am just now after almost 2 months feeling okay about this. I knew that being a mom was not going to be easy and so many people say to me, " See you always wanted to be a mom and it is not like it is on TV" It kind of makes me a little mad. I never thought it would be like it is on TV and I did always want to be a mom and still do. I don't regret any of the decisions that we have made. I am now getting to the point that I could imagine our life with out these three kids. Okay some days I can imagine it with out one of them. :) Just kidding. They are very fun kids and for the most part are pretty good. I share experiences with friends and family and come to find out they are just like any other kid. Yeah they do have extra emotional issues that we are dealing with but just like any other kid, they don't want to do their homework or their chores. They fight amongst each other and argue with what I say. I do love being a mom and I think it was worth the wait for these three kids. I can honestly say they were meant to be in our family. They have brought Mark and I closer together as a couple. They have filled an empty place in our Home. We do love them and everyday gets a little bit better. For the first month I was feeling like I may have had a little bit of a depression I don't know what you would call it but it was similar to post pardom, but I am now starting to figure it out. Thanks to all those out there that have let me cry or vent to them and thanks for not saying anything but just listening. I love being a Mom and am glad I have these three beautiful kids.
