Journal post from Sept 17, 2010

Well, the funeral is over and I guess life is supposed to begin. But I feel lost, lonely and scared. I don't know where to start or how to go on. I miss Mark so much and there is just an emptiness I don't even know how to explain, yet a feeling of love and comfort that I can't deny. I felt so blessed and comforted over the past week. On Sunday morning the day after Mark passed away, Montana was sleeping with Marks pillow and he said, "Mom, there is something in the pillow," as he pulled it out there was a link. It was Marks Link. Earlier in the summer we had gone to Lake Powell as a family. Marks Mom gave a family home evening on the importance of each family member and how each one of us was like a link to a chain. I think Mark was showing Montana that he was still here and is still a link in our Family. It amazes me that it was still in that pillow. I swear I had washed that pillow case probably 3 or 4 times since then. (Journal entry from Sept 17th)