Journal post from the night after Mark passed away.

On September 11,2010 I lost the love of my life. Mark Earl Cragun left this earth at about 11:00am. He left nothing undone though. Saturday night our house was completed from a flood that had happened a month before. Thursday we adopted the three beautiful children that were sent hear to us. The people that loved him were able to serve him the last few months of his life. I think he also wanted everyone to remember him so he chose September 11th, when there would be flags out for the rest of us to always remember. I had something small and maybe just silly happen. One of Marks last days was spent going to the Temple with one of his favorite young men, Chris Jarman in preparation for his mission. After going to the Temple Mark insisted that we go to get a cheesecake knowing that he would not be able to eat it. The Jarmans had chosen Sally's, a small Diner in Ogden. When we got there Mark saw a peach tart pie (his favorite) that h just had to have. Again knowing that he would not really be able to eat much more then a small bight he had to have it. Well, that night that Mark passed away a sweat sister in our ward brought me a peach tart pie from that small diner in Ogden Utah. Maybe it was just a coincidence or maybe it was Mark telling me he was okay. I can't even express my love for this wonderful man, or the hurt and loneliness that is in my heart. I miss him so much already. I want so badly to call him or just to see him sitting in his chair watching some stupid Spanish sports station. Now I just have to live my life so that he will be proud of me I have to serve because I know that he loved to serve. I have to be strong because he was alway strong. One think that I know he would be telling me right now would be to get up, and get myself together, be strong and stop crying. Oh how I will miss him, oh how I hope I can make him proud of me. I love you Mark and I will show you. ( This was taken from my journal on September 12th)

Trip to New Jersey and the week of no end.

I took a training class in New Jersey for work and spent a few days in New York here are some pictures from my trip. While I was there Mark had a really bad week. They had switched his pain meds and had him start taking them threw his feeding tube. So naturally he was finally getting them. Well in the passed we was perscribed such a high dosage because they were not helping him. Well because he was taking them threw his feeding tube he was getting them and way to much of them. I was gone and the kids were at different family members houses so it kind of went unnoticed. Good thing we have such great friends and neighbors that stepped in to help him. He ended up flooding the house more then once. There were a few times I almost came home early but those that were watching him told me to stay. Devin Pettit stepped up and with the help of the Elders in our ward made sure that there was someone at our house or at least checking on him at all times. But they didn't know the circumstances and weren't sure what was going on with him, so naturally they were pretty concerned. I didn't really understand what was going on till I got home.

When I came home I ended up having to call the insurance company to come in and help us with the house. We ended up having to replace all of the flooring in our house. Wow, what a project it ended up being. Mark and I were both so overwhelmed with the help that we received. Our ward family and extended family helped us so much, especially my Dad. I think he spent every minute that he could at our home for a few weeks. You could say it was almost like extreme make over. With in a week we replaced all of the flooring in our home, some walls and painted almost every room in my house.

Well to add to the drama I figured out what had happened with Marks medication and was able to get him back to normal or at least some what. He was feeling a lot better. One day I was so overwhelmed with work, the house and trying to get Mark to his doctor appointments. Mark had a doctors appointment and I had a ton to do at work. I came home and he seemed like he was doing really good. He told me he felt good and so I let him drive to his own doctors appointment. Well, I was at work for about 10 min when I got a call. Yep, he had been in a car accident and it was his fault. He couldn't remember what had happened. I felt terrible. I should have just taken him. The truck was totalled but he was okay.

During this long few weeks Mark started to have seizures again. The doctors just put him back on his seizure medication and told me it might take awhile for it to kick in. We had some pretty scary experiences and again we had so many people that were willing to help me and stay with him while I was at work and the kids were at school. There was one that really stood out it was one of his young men. He was getting ready to go on his mission so he was not working and spent a lot of time with Mark. I think they both loved it though.

Legally a family

On September 11, 2010 we were made a family legally. We have had these three beautiful kids for just over a year now. But this was the day that we could now officially say we were the Craguns. Shortly after we brought the kids home Mark started to get really sick again, so he was not able to pass his physical exam, and the Doctors wanted to wait till he was a little better. Well my lawyer finally called and said lets just do it. We would see what the judge said. Well the day finally came and I was so glad that it was one of Marks good days. His Mom and sister Tammy came, my Mom and Dad and also Jessica came and watched. The Judge was so cute with the kids and so was Mark. The Judge ordered that we take the kids for ice cream right after the hearing. Mark was smiling like I hadn't seen him smile in a long time. I don't know if these kids will ever know how much Mark loves them. They truly changed both of our lives for the better.

Niyah turned 8

Well on August 23, 2010 Niyah turned 8. She was so excited to be eight. The year before Montana and Miyuki were both baptized and she just couldn't wait. She wanted to go swimming at surf and swim but I wanted to do something a little more simple so I arranged to have a family party and Uncle Danny's House and it was a blast. I was just really glad it was good weather. It seemed like the weather was terrible the day before and the day after.
Amanda Cragun

Miyuki

Jake and Josh with a basketball game of course.

Mark there with his Jacket on. He was so cold and couldn't even get in the water. But we were blessed that he was able to be there.

Miyuki

Niyah grew out of her bike that she had already so that is what she got for her birthday. She was so excited. Then the tire was flat the next day, and I don't think we have fixed it yet.

Niyah the Birthday girl

Mark eating what he could chatting with my Mom.

Colleen, Addy and Connor. Once you got out of the pool it was pretty cold.

Miyuki after Josh threw her.

Kayden

Josh and Jessica throwing the kids (Kayden)

Sydney doing a back flip.

Sydney, Josh and Jessica

Happy Birthday Niyah Sweaty!! (We forgot a candle so My dad fixed that)

Pics from Lake Powell 2010

Connor, Addy,and Niyah

Trying to Cool down

Niyah is in the red on a boat ride

Me, Addy and Niyah

Me, Addy and Connor

Me and Addy

Enough Jess, with the camera

The Remote control boat a real one isn't enough

Montana Man

Miyuki swimming

Miyuki

Montana trying to get his way without a life jacket

The duck family

This was the kids first year at the Annual Lake Powell Cragun Adventure!!

Lake Powell 2010

As a Cragun family we go to Lake Powell every year. Mark and I were not able to go last year and it being the first year that we had the kids we really wanted to be there. So we did everything we could to get there. Mark was feeling really sick and had some doctor appointments that he couldn't miss. I went up at the beginning of the week with the kids and Mark met us up there latter in the week. We left on Monday and drove most of the day to Lake Powell. When we arrived I received a call from Mark saying that his test had came back positive for a brain tumor. I was devastated to say the least. I was glad that we had received at least some type of answer but at the same time it was heart breaking. Mark was very sick that week but he really wanted to be there with the kids. We had talked about him not coming but he insisted. He was really weak and the heat really go to him but he was a trooper. I think it was hard on everyone to see him this way. But at the same time I think it was an eyeopener for the rest of the family to see how sick he really was. The kids had a blast and they were really able to bond with their cousins. Here are some pictures of the kids.

Sorry there may be pictures to come. I have lost my Lake Powell pictures from this year and I am really upset about it. The girls knee boarded and Montana man even got up on ski's this year!!!!

Montana's Birthday April 4, 2010

On April 4th Montana turned 9 years old. We had spent the week with the Winstons and so we didn't get to have to much of a party for Montana. So we had some friends and my Mom and Dad over to open presents. Mark had arranged for Montana to get this really cool bike that he just loves. It was Lincoln Jarmans bike. Montana's favorite thing is to ride bikes so we wanted to get him one that he could use for a while.